Lesson One
What kind of life do you expect to have? What is your assumption? What is your definition of a Christian life?
I don't know about you but I used to have this thought:
1.) I will partake the bread and wine for free every single Sunday service. (I was 8; was in Watchman Nee's and Witness Lee's ministry church at that time)
2.) God will bless me in everyway such as giving me a good job to make a lot of money, giving me a pretigeous&well-known university, 'A'sing all the time in university and giving me things that I want, etc.
3.) If I do everything like He said in the Bible, He would listen to me because I follow His commands. Plus, He loves me. He won't let me sufferring but to live a better life.
Other people believe that their god / goddness would give them a lot of blessing or what they want as long as they sacrifice a lot of goodies in the temple. It's more business-oriented.
I know that my God is not like that. Like Bible said, "God loves the world. He gives His only begotten Son." He loves us. He wants to give us the best. Sometimes, we do not think it's the best. It's so often that we complain like, "God, why this is happening? Why?" or "God, it's not fair!" instead of "God, What is meaning behind this? What do you want me to learn? What do you want me to experience?"
A long time ago, I was listening a message from a brother. His message was about experiencing God in a deeper level. I remembered that I disgreed and wanted to leave. The reason was that I believed that God has no authorities over us to control our life or whatever because we have free choices and free mind since He gave us that in Genesis. Then, I heard that the brother was saying something like this, "God, I am the one that you use your blood to trade. I am your servant and slave. Please show me what do you want me to do?"
Yes, we "did" have free choices and free mind before we were "saved" by Him or shall I say "before we are christians?" The brother shared a interested word analogy:
CHRISTIAN = Christ + I + Am + Nothing = CHRIST is in me I Am Nothing
In my opinion, a chritian life is just like ocean wave... just like Sine and Cosine graph in Math. Sometimes, we are up and sometimes we are down. Isn't it a unstable life? NO, not really. God just wants us to know Him more and to experience His Power to lift us up once we learn our "lesson" in front of Him so that we can share testimonies to others.
What is a lesson? God gives a lesson in our life? A lesson is a chance that God mold us into His desired shape. Sometimes, a lesson could be an opportunity to deal our "old self." Our self & body conflicts with Spirit. Sometimes, a lesson could be to let us experience His life 2000 years ago. Sometimes, a lesson could be the combination of those two above.
Few days ago, my younger brother, Jack, came back from Hawaii to visit us. He came back because He got 5 days off from his unit. (Note: He is a full-time student and soldier in U.S Army.) On the last day 5 hours before He left from Orange County, we both had quarrelsome to each other in Japanese Restaurant (Note: It's at Jeffrey off from I-5 in Irvine. It's called Tomikowa. <- Highly recommended.) Somehow he had his temper and raised up voice on me due to unknown reasons. I can tell that he did not want to leave us and did not want to leave Orange County. My mom was sitting next to him and told him that she recognized a friend sitting across our table. My brother finally changed his focus and told my mom to say "hello" to her friend but my mom refused. We realized that Mom's friend did not contact with her for a long time. Plus, Mom tried to greet her for a few times in other places but her friend pretended not knowing my mom or did some fake response. They were used to be good friends but her friend was very business-oriented somehow. Jack responded, "I wished that all people in Hawaii (including soldiers and officers in the unit) at least have that 'business-oriented' response to me." Then, he teared down.
I felt his implication 'cause I've been there. His implication reminded of my bootcamp about how Drill Sergeant treated me like a slave, pig, and even worst than low-level bio-being. And then, it reminded me of how my ex-gf abandoned me after I came back from army training. In addition, it reminded me of how my Youth Pastor refused to give me any opportunities to lead worship even though I knew it was my calling. (Note: He did not agree because he thought that I had no spiritual "inheritance" to pour out to those youth). Moreover, it reminded me of how my last manager treated me and laughed at me ironically because I gave him 2 week notice and I am a christian. Lastly, it related to my last "3 day" job in Raytheon and how they treated me as a foreigner.(Note: I got a secret level of security clearance through US Army. I am naturalized through army. Still, Raytheon thinks that I am not a US citizen and gave me a badge with the word, 'Foreign', on it and to have my co-worker to escort me in&out until they kicked me out after I worked there for 3 days and signed the offer).
All those things were happened within last 6 months. I was amazed how God brought me through all those things. I think that God wanted me to taste a little bit of His feeling that how He was abandoned and treated by His people right before He was crucified 2000 years ago. Through all those processes, I was changed and different than before even though I did not even know that until friends told me. Although it's painful to me, but I guess it's all worth it.
Now, I am waiting to see God to rain down on me.
So, what is your lesson this time?
in Christ,
-Mike
I don't know about you but I used to have this thought:
1.) I will partake the bread and wine for free every single Sunday service. (I was 8; was in Watchman Nee's and Witness Lee's ministry church at that time)
2.) God will bless me in everyway such as giving me a good job to make a lot of money, giving me a pretigeous&well-known university, 'A'sing all the time in university and giving me things that I want, etc.
3.) If I do everything like He said in the Bible, He would listen to me because I follow His commands. Plus, He loves me. He won't let me sufferring but to live a better life.
Other people believe that their god / goddness would give them a lot of blessing or what they want as long as they sacrifice a lot of goodies in the temple. It's more business-oriented.
I know that my God is not like that. Like Bible said, "God loves the world. He gives His only begotten Son." He loves us. He wants to give us the best. Sometimes, we do not think it's the best. It's so often that we complain like, "God, why this is happening? Why?" or "God, it's not fair!" instead of "God, What is meaning behind this? What do you want me to learn? What do you want me to experience?"
A long time ago, I was listening a message from a brother. His message was about experiencing God in a deeper level. I remembered that I disgreed and wanted to leave. The reason was that I believed that God has no authorities over us to control our life or whatever because we have free choices and free mind since He gave us that in Genesis. Then, I heard that the brother was saying something like this, "God, I am the one that you use your blood to trade. I am your servant and slave. Please show me what do you want me to do?"
Yes, we "did" have free choices and free mind before we were "saved" by Him or shall I say "before we are christians?" The brother shared a interested word analogy:
CHRISTIAN = Christ + I + Am + Nothing = CHRIST is in me I Am Nothing
In my opinion, a chritian life is just like ocean wave... just like Sine and Cosine graph in Math. Sometimes, we are up and sometimes we are down. Isn't it a unstable life? NO, not really. God just wants us to know Him more and to experience His Power to lift us up once we learn our "lesson" in front of Him so that we can share testimonies to others.
What is a lesson? God gives a lesson in our life? A lesson is a chance that God mold us into His desired shape. Sometimes, a lesson could be an opportunity to deal our "old self." Our self & body conflicts with Spirit. Sometimes, a lesson could be to let us experience His life 2000 years ago. Sometimes, a lesson could be the combination of those two above.
Few days ago, my younger brother, Jack, came back from Hawaii to visit us. He came back because He got 5 days off from his unit. (Note: He is a full-time student and soldier in U.S Army.) On the last day 5 hours before He left from Orange County, we both had quarrelsome to each other in Japanese Restaurant (Note: It's at Jeffrey off from I-5 in Irvine. It's called Tomikowa. <- Highly recommended.) Somehow he had his temper and raised up voice on me due to unknown reasons. I can tell that he did not want to leave us and did not want to leave Orange County. My mom was sitting next to him and told him that she recognized a friend sitting across our table. My brother finally changed his focus and told my mom to say "hello" to her friend but my mom refused. We realized that Mom's friend did not contact with her for a long time. Plus, Mom tried to greet her for a few times in other places but her friend pretended not knowing my mom or did some fake response. They were used to be good friends but her friend was very business-oriented somehow. Jack responded, "I wished that all people in Hawaii (including soldiers and officers in the unit) at least have that 'business-oriented' response to me." Then, he teared down.
I felt his implication 'cause I've been there. His implication reminded of my bootcamp about how Drill Sergeant treated me like a slave, pig, and even worst than low-level bio-being. And then, it reminded me of how my ex-gf abandoned me after I came back from army training. In addition, it reminded me of how my Youth Pastor refused to give me any opportunities to lead worship even though I knew it was my calling. (Note: He did not agree because he thought that I had no spiritual "inheritance" to pour out to those youth). Moreover, it reminded me of how my last manager treated me and laughed at me ironically because I gave him 2 week notice and I am a christian. Lastly, it related to my last "3 day" job in Raytheon and how they treated me as a foreigner.(Note: I got a secret level of security clearance through US Army. I am naturalized through army. Still, Raytheon thinks that I am not a US citizen and gave me a badge with the word, 'Foreign', on it and to have my co-worker to escort me in&out until they kicked me out after I worked there for 3 days and signed the offer).
All those things were happened within last 6 months. I was amazed how God brought me through all those things. I think that God wanted me to taste a little bit of His feeling that how He was abandoned and treated by His people right before He was crucified 2000 years ago. Through all those processes, I was changed and different than before even though I did not even know that until friends told me. Although it's painful to me, but I guess it's all worth it.
Now, I am waiting to see God to rain down on me.
So, what is your lesson this time?
in Christ,
-Mike
posted by Yang at 12:01 AM
1 Comments:
Mike,
Wow. Thanks for sharing this.
God has been speaking to you through all these different challenges and opportunities to trust Him.
Keep going.
Peace,
kg
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